


The Girl who Was

by abate_this_beating_heart



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Year That Never Was
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 05:01:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9219896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abate_this_beating_heart/pseuds/abate_this_beating_heart
Summary: The first time he found her was right after he destroyed Japan. The sky ablaze in red and she was holding onto the broken body of a 10 year old boy that she had promised to protect. She realized soon enough that promises holds very little meaning in this world that he created





	

The first time he found her was right after he destroyed Japan. The sky ablaze in red and she was holding onto the broken body of a 10 year old boy that she had promised to protect. She realized soon enough that promises holds very little meaning in this world that he created. It only gave people a false sense of comfort. And she had broken every promise she intended to keep, except for one. 

He had roughly grabbed her and tossed that mingle body of a 10 year old boy aside. His breathe hot and thick against her skin. Despite Japan burning and people in hysteria, she was truly alone with him. 

“I always catch my prey,” her skin crawled. 

He had tortured her for days, kept her locked away in some small dark house. And every time he leaves, she willed herself to never give him the satisfaction that he was slowly breaking her down into nothing. But her resolved always fail, every time she screams. Oh how he loved the sound of her screams…it dulled out the constant drumming in his head. 

\---- 

She remembered the first time she had come to him willingly. He had shot a little girl. Her blood splattered across his pristine white collar shirt. And he laughs hysterically as he promised to the world that for every day that she was walking the earth another child would die. Despite the countless bodies that she saw stacked up, she has yet to ever get used to heavy stench of death that surrounds her. 

“I knew you would come to your senses,” he captured her lips with his own. “That’s what I like about you Martha Jones.” 

She reels in disgust at her own action, because the Martha Jones she once knew would have never caved in. That Martha would have found some way to save that little girl. But this Martha was broken and jaded from the countless death that surrounds her. This Martha just needed to not be alone anymore.

\----  
She wasn’t sure how they reach this point. She no longer runs from him and he no longer sought her out. Like some intertwining thread created by fate, they always manage to find each other in some way or another. His touches bruised, his lips burned and yet she craved every bit of it; because in some sick twisted way, she just needed to sooth away this numbness. There was nothing soft and sweet about this thing of theirs. It was just purely sexual and aggression.   
And as she laid here next to him, the guilt of her betrayal washed over her once more. What would her mother said to her? How would the Doctor look at her, if he knew that she wasn’t as strong as he had hoped of her? 

But right at this moment, none of them matter; because the evenness of his breathing and the slow beating of his hearts, kept her monster at bay. Despite this false sense of peace she managed to find with this cruel man (alien), she was not as foolish as to abandon what she had started, what she had promised. Because somewhere in this shell she wears, the old Martha Jones still exist, even if barely. 

And every time she leaves, he allowed her to escape. Even he knows, there something quiet unattainable about Martha Jones and the thrill of chasing her, finding her was always something he looks forward to in this mundane world he was quickly destroying. He wanted her broken and his, but only if she allows it. Because that would mean he won and the Doctor had lost. 

\----

At time when she quiet didn’t care anymore, she always had to remind herself this journey wasn’t about the Doctor and her. Because she had always done everything he asked of her without little in return. And sometime she was just tired of being second best or just nothing at all to him. She has to remind herself, that her family was stilled prisoner and that this world would soon be nothing more than a desert of dead bodies. 

And yet, every time she was with him, he always reminds her of a little blonde shop girl that was far more extraordinary than she would ever be to the Doctor. And when he really wanted to, just to twist the knife a little deeper, he would tell her how beautiful and piercing the screams of her family was to his ears. He would vividly relive the death of her brother and his family by the orbs she inadvertently help inspired. Because she had helped them fly, because she had led them to their salvation, she had help create this world. 

But she refused to cry, she refused to admit defeat and beg for mercy. So all she can do is shoved a little harder and take in the satisfaction when he couldn’t suppress the moans that escape. For a few short moments, she was in control. 

Her victory doesn’t last long. It never does.

“You should have seen his face when I told him what his sweet, kind Martha Jones was doing when she wasn’t walking the earth.” 

She couldn’t help but laugh. “And what about you Harry?” She loved how that name always angers him, “Wanting oh so very much to be the Doctor, first with the blonde companion. I’m not sure if Lucy can compare to Rose. And now…” 

\----

The first time she broke down and truly cried in front of him was the night he had so carelessly killed Tom Milligan. Tom was someone she could have love, someone who had nothing to do with the Doctor. He had killed Tom just to hurt her. 

She had kicked and screamed when they were alone. She couldn’t stand to be near him. But because he was the Master, he would have none of her childish way. He closed the gap between them, and pulled her into his arms. In parts, he hated to see her like this. And because she wasn’t sure how to react, all she could do was melt into his arms.

“You didn’t have to kill him,” she mumbled into his coat jacket. “I would have gone with you willingly.” 

Because by this point, she wasn’t sure who she was anymore or what he meant to her. All she knows was that, he was no longer the monster that haunts her dreams. And this scared her more than anything she had experience in this new world. 

\----

In the end, he knew she was never really his. He just didn’t realize it was going to hurt this much when she had out maneuver him, beat him at his own game. It was never really about them, always about the Doctor. And the Doctor had won. Martha Jones was rightfully where she belonged, by the Doctor’s side. 

\---  
Because she was the Doctor’s companion, the women who save the world, she stood and watched him died. Maybe she was mad like Lucy or maybe she developed some strange attachment to him, but Martha Jones had hope he would regenerate like before. But because he was spiteful and petty, he refused the Doctor’s desperate plead. 

So she wanted to scream, shove the Doctor aside, because it should’ve been her by his side. But she didn’t. She was never supposed to play the role opposite of him. She would have never registered in his radar, if it wasn’t for the Doctor. She was meaningless to him, nothing more than a foolish human who gave her very being to someone who just didn’t care. So she stood and watched him disappear, because she really wasn’t supposed to care. 

\---

And sometime she would visit that little room – in hope that he might be there. After all, the Doctor had once told her that time and space was not linear. But he never showed up. Maybe death didn’t get the memo and played by its own rule. So Martha Jones always leave disappointed and angry with herself.   
She was now her own person. She was no longer defined as just another one of the Doctor’s companion. She has Tom. The man she could have love in the year that never was. Tom, the man she did love. 

But because he was the Master, he still played her along like a string puppet. Even in death, he still lingers. 

\--- 

She had talk to the Doctor a few time and even met his current companion, Donna. And even with all the times that had passed by, he still had some weird hold on her heartstrings. But because she was Martha Jones and because she thought herself to be strong, she had managed to protect her heart from the Doctor’s whimsical whims. What she never realized was that somewhere along the line, it stopped being the Doctor she needed to protect her heart from. 

\---

She wasn’t sure what compel her to visit this place. There was nothing but greens and rocky hill side. The only sound was the harsh blowing winds echoing in her ears. She didn’t belong. There was nothing here to distract her from her own thoughts. And lately her thoughts were consumed with him. She was foolish. She was alone. Tom was everything that she had dreamt of when she stilled believe in fairy tales and dashing prince charming. Yet somehow, fairy tale ending seems foolish and naïve at heart. But Martha Jones was still that little girl and her fairy tale turn dark and rancid. Prince charming morph into a monster instead. She’s not even sure how she rationalized that to be acceptable.

**Author's Note:**

> Ah! You made it to the end despite the many grammar mistakes and butchering of the English language. I wrote this lovely fella a few years back, but wasn't sure what I wanted to do with it. At time, I had contemplate on extending it, but to no avail, I could not produce anything decent. So, I have just decided it shall be as it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this little writing of mine.


End file.
